My Whirlwind of Thought Today

June is gone and July is now upon us.  I have been counting the days to the day I turn 44 years old.  I have two days left before I am 44 years old.  No birthday party planned but there happens to be a potluck at Burbank Plaza Apartment Complex on the 3rd for celebration of the 4th of the July – America’s birthday.  I have signed up for the potluck so I am going.  I am going to take banana nut muffins.  I have a feeling that they will not go over very well but I have at least one person who is interested in having one.

I do not feel that I am the social type like I once was so long ago.  I believe it is because of the fact that trusting people has diminished to practically not trusting anyone except for those who portray true Christian attitudes.  I have not become a hermit or anything but I do not go out of my way to visit neighbors like I did when I first moved to Burbank Plaza Apartment Complex when it was Teamster Manor Apartment Complex in March 1998.  The tenants here, including myself, have their own cliques or groups.  I used to have a neighbor/friend come down every Friday night but things have changed so now I spend Friday nights alone most of the time now and that is fine with me.  I am not very social now-a-days.  I do not like to be bothered.

As I sit and think about the start of my summer, it has been founded that I have not written much lately.  I have been either very busy or have a cat in my lap most of the time.  Bing Crosby the cat loves my lap and I do not like it when he walks across my laptop keyboard.  Either I have a laptop on my lap or cat that loves to lie on my lap and sleep.  I enjoy my time with Bing, too and love him dearly.

I did talk to my friend DZ about the feeling I have been having with RS.  I do not like the idea of her talking about her future six months down the road because it sounds like she is bragging but DZ set me straight that she is just fired up about stuff.  DZ also told me to do what I had to do for myself and do what I can do for me.  Everyone has their own level.  I am just one person who can think from one day to another and cannot think of the future too far ahead.  Yet, I wish that RS would stop acting two-faced and that is exactly what she does lately!!  She has made people unhappy at Burbank Plaza Apartment Complex.  Ever since RS and I do not see eye to eye about what happened here a couple of months ago and before that and I won’t sit on the same side as her, RS has become more distant and depressed.  She is making herself sick.  While she is making herself sick,  I have realized at my counseling appointment today that she is one of my major stresses!  So having RS down at my apartment right now is not a good idea.  That is why I have decided that from now on that my door will be locked and the lights off in my apartment and after a certain time I will not answer my door.

Author: ksmiley

As a diarist and blogger, please bear with me as I continue to upgrade my blog as time moves forward. Thank you.

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