My Thoughts and Honoring My Grandpa

Life at my household went on what it usually does on a Friday.  I had spoken to MM, my worker at IDS a little after 1 pm today and part of the conversation did not please me too much.  I just wish that I could be on my phone or computer while my worker MJ is here cooking.  I am still here to answer questions and talk to her but it seems that there are rules there, too, that I have to follow and abide.  I will follow the rules.  I just find it unfair sometimes is all.  I cannot argue with MM about some stuff because I will not win.  I will be understood but I have to abide by the rules that IDS has for the clients to follow.  I am in a whirlwind of thought about this and not feeling very comfortable about it is all.  I should be able to refrain myself from my laptop and phone for a couple of hours or so but it is kind of hard to do.  Now that I have ROKU and can watch Netflix on my TV, I guess I can do that from now on Thursdays for a couple of hours or how long it takes to cook my meals for the week. Right now I am not too happy about it and unhappy and a little upset because MJ told MM that I was on my phone while she was there cooking once again.  MM wants me to refrain from being on my laptop and phone during the time my workers are here from IDS. I am just not too happy with the idea that MJ told MM but I am glad she didn’t lie about it.

Today I am going to honor a man who happened to be my mother’s Dad Clarence Valentine Fox.  He was my grandpa for thirty-three years before he passed away.  Grandpa Clarence was an educator, mentor, and truant officer in his day.  He was respected in the Janesville School System by many who knew him and later became my teachers before they too retired from teaching.  My grandfather would be 102 years old today if he lived but he died on February 16, 2003 at the age of 90 about 5 months before 91st birthday.  His wife, my grandma Myra Irene Fox died in 1997 on October 1st one day short of her 78th birthday of congestive heart failure.  When she died, Grandpa knew her but didn’t know her like he used to because his memory was failing him and he suffered from memory issues for the rest of his life until 2003.  He lived at St. Mary’s Nursing home like his mother did before she passed away for a couple of years or so and then was transferred to a nursing home in New Mexico so my mother, his daughter, could get him the best care possible during the years of 1999 – 2003.  I visited him while he was in New Mexico but there was a time I did not feel comfortable seeing my grandfather in the state of mind he was in – forgetful and in his own world.  I decided to wise up and battle my fear of seeing my grandpa in this forgetful state of mind because one day I will never see him again.  I have found visiting my grandpa was therapy for me as well as rewarding and peaceful.  I have learned we can not doubt a man or woman in their forgetful stage of mind because they can be lucid and sharp in areas we may not understand.  This man, my grandpa, was an educator!  When I was struggling with math in my elementary school years of 4th and 5th grade and he took his time on the weekends and during the weeks in the summer to help understand mathematics better.  I struggled with fractions mostly and still do to some point but with Grandpa’s knowledge and remembering what he taught me has helped me a great deal in life.  When I was doing algebra in my last two years in high school and some in college, I helped him understand the mathematics of algebra because in his day, being born in 1912, algebra was not introduced until later in his life during the days of his teaching career and he was a coach, truant officer, mentor, and educator in his prime.

Happy birthday, Grandpa Clarence!  Even though you are no longer with us, I remember your birthday and today I remember many of the things you taught me through life before you passed away.  Knowing a great educator as you were to me and many other people, I am always going to be proud of being your granddaughter.  Now that you are gone physically from God’s creation we will meet one another in heaven and embrace on another with open arms and happiness once again.  You are greatly missed in my heart, and I will always live you.  I do know that I was one typical teenager in my day and an adult who needed to grow up more before now but I have gotten to know the Lord more and know why I am here today.  I will never stop smiling!!

About ksmiley

I feel I am back to journaling once again.
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