Can I Really Do This?
I, on the 17th, have vented a little about this one friend as well as for the past three days have taken my concerns, frustration and confusion, and thoughts to God in prayer. I have finally had it with this friend, I love her dearly, and I am definitely walking away from her this time but my concern is following through with it to the end. I have taken the time, before 7 AM, to go to AT&T Smart Limits and blocked my friend’s phone number for good. Now, because I cannot block numbers that are unknown or private, I will NEVER answer those and allow them to go right to my voicemail system on my phone. I already do not answer calls with phone numbers I do not already recognize for my safety and comfort zone. I just do not want anything more to do with this friend as long as her ex-husband is in her life again. Her ex-husband is married to a fine woman but he does not want anything to do with me nor does she, which is fine with me. I do not trust this ex-husband period. Whenever this friend calls blocking her number I will not answer it and let her message go to voicemail and delete as soon as I recognize her voice. I do not need the reminder of her actions; everything goes her way or no way at all. I have seen how fast she can turn on someone if she does not get what she wants or deserves. I am here doing my best at preserving what emotional, physical, mental, and my kidney’s health as long as I can. This friend is not a friend any longer but as a Christian I will not stop praying for her health and well-being she needs and deserves.
Has Spring Arrived?
I am wondering if the season we call Spring has finally arrived? If so, will we see nice weather? I do know for a fact that this winter has been a strange one to the extent of what it did. When the first day of Spring arrived I know we have seen some snow, it had gotten cold like winter has returned for a while and this past weekend was beautiful and we have been seeing weather temps hit the 70s and 80s. It was awesome. Yesterday we had some cloudiness and rain spurts and today I have my living room and bedroom windows open and can hear the birds chirping and cawing outside. Every now and then my cat Bing Crosby will sit in the window watching the birds and squirrels in the trees or on the ground. So has Spring arrived? I believe so…finally!
A Semi-Busy Day
I have been up since about 6 AM with 10 hours and 9 minutes of sleep under my belt. I did go to bed early last night – after 7 PM because I knew I was going to have a semi-busy day today. Usually my Wednesdays only consist of my 8:30 AM shower and Bible study/prayer meeting at 7 PM but today I have my IDS worker MM coming for my annual signing of papers and a quick meeting. Sometimes I wish to have more sleep so I can get what is necessary to be done with well-deserved energy and done as quickly as possible. I believe Wednesday is the only day out of the entire week that is the longest day for me. I do not get to bed until 9 PM or 10 PM on Wednesday nights. So today I have a busier day than my usual Wednesday but it is not as busy as my Mondays with DB as on Mondays I go grocery shopping and cleaning and laundry with DB.
A Thought About My Diary Sometimes
I know I have been on and off writing in my diary for the longest time now but I am busy and nothing really has changed much in my life from day to day, week to week, month to month, year to year, and I find that okay. When I have a chance to write in my diary, I will do just that. Why bother with the same old stuff from day to day. Sometimes I feel like I am a broken record more of the time than not anyway. I still love to write in my diary but I feel that my life is the same old stuff coming from the past back into my present, and I worry about my future. I do not even write in my private diary as much as I used to either. I am not losing touch with the world or anything but I have been busy and my health has to come first now. I go see neighbors now across the hall in the community room but I do not very often because I love my space and peace and quiet. Like today – everyday – I take what I call “quiet time” and do my Facebook stuff, letters and prayers to God, devotional(s), and write in my journal if it presents itself. I am doing myself a favor by doing my best at not drudging up past hurts into my future for therapy and my health. In fact, I have my alarm set for 7:15 AM every morning so by 7:30 AM and 8 AM I have had taken my morning medication. Sometimes I get up earlier than that, like today at 6 AM at the beginning of a Columbo movie, and began my day since I had 10 hours and 9 minutes of sleep from going to bed last night. I had awakened to Bing Crosby ready to eat his breakfast and there was hardly a morsel of food left in his dish so I fed him, and the birds were chirping and cawing their Spring morning hellos outside my windows. So, in reality my world of thought about my diary sometimes is something I do not do like I used to. No, I am not depressed. I just do not want to repeat myself anymore. I am done with that.
What Happened Monday
Monday was a very good day. Every Monday is my grocery shopping, cleaning and laundry day, and I do have to admit that I love going grocery shopping with DB. Now that C is no longer working for IDS DB has taken over Monday afternoons for the time being and she does the cleaning and laundry now. Since I have MM coming today at 1 PM to sign my annual paperwork and have a brief meeting with her, DB and I both worked on a couple of areas of clutter. I started on my computer desk the moment we got back from grocery shopping and then I worked on the kitchen table. When DB took my laundry upstairs to the get ready for wash, she had come back telling me that all the washers and driers were being used so she would have to take my laundry to the nearby laundromat and do my laundry there. I did not go with her because I was working on my kitchen table so there was less clutter at one end of the table since now I use the kitchen table as my laptop desk. It is a little bit easier sitting at a table instead of my computer desk or recliner. That is one change I had made sometime last year before 2016.
Poor DB… Her car has an issue of not turning off today so we were managing that quite a bit Monday morning and it drove her crazy. She said that a friend of hers would take care of the car later Monday afternoon so I will find out tomorrow when DB comes for food preparation at 9 AM to 10:30 AM after my 8:30 AM shower. I sure do feel for her. After DB got back from the laundromat I had the kitchen table taken care of and I was already working on my finances, journaling, and getting ready to relax for the day once DB left.
One Last Thought
I know I may not be done writing in my diary just yet since it is only going on 8:30 AM and my shower gal will be here in a few minutes, I do have one more last thought before beginning my day with a shower. When it comes to my diary and what my thought about my diary today I want other people to understand that I have nothing against diaries or want to offend others with my thoughts. Sometimes I just do not write in my diary like I used to when I first began writing my thoughts publicly. I am just getting tired of repeating myself, finding myself venting about the same thing over and over again, and what else we diarists write about.