I am here tonight, before 10 PM, playing catch up with my journaling/diary since the last time I have written. Please forgive me for any gross details. I need to be real. Nothing about me is fake anymore. I will tell it like it is when necessary. Okay, here comes the grossness. I got my monthly yesterday, and after dialysis, I had a bad afternoon. I had a gross mess to clean up a couple of times because I had a couple of bowel issues. With cerebral palsy and after dialysis, my body fights to stand and stay standing for any length of time. Cleaning myself up is a long process when I am home alone after my IRIS worker leaves for the day. I also found that I am getting my 27.5 hours of personal care cut down to 11.5 hours, starting the last part of February. Not cool. Okay, I get it. I have gotten my menses for the month, finding out that my care hours have been cut drastically, and the rest of my evening was watching a few hours of Cold Case on the ROKU channel until 9:30 PM. That was my night.
I had awakened a couple of times with bowel issues. I was glad it was not messy. I spoke to JR, my IRIS consultant, and we are going to make sure I fill out paperwork for extra funding to have supportive home care hours amended, if possible. I asked her if a letter would help, and she told me that it would not help at all. I have to fill out paperwork. Okay, I get it. EVERYTHING needs a paper trail nowadays. Geesh.
Despite what has happened the past twenty-four hours, my IRIS worker DKF said that I handled the situation well. I beg to differ, but I do understand what she meant. Yes, I had a rough afternoon yesterday, had a couple of messes to clean up, I have my monthly menses, and here I am taking care of a situation the only way I knew I could do. My world spun despite my emotional downfall the past several hours of my life, and I am still alive.
In case anyone is interested, please look at this site. The program I am in is IRIS: