I am still not sure if DKF did me any favors walking out of my life the way she did two weeks ago. Finding a caregiver is very hard these days. Even nursing homes are hurting for caregivers as they come and go so often. Today was one of those days where I found myself at a spot in my life, showing me that I no longer had drama surrounding me anymore. I am not saying it is DKF’s fault, but I believe drama surrounded her to the point that it was also surrounding me. The tension inside me has left. My catheter worked great, and the catheter did not have to reverse the lines because the flow to the lines is usually sluggish. Now, I have to wait until Saturday, August 7, 2021 — the last treatment for the weekend before my dialysis weekend. My planet is not running rampant; my world is running smoothly.
Now, get this next one. I had an appointment at our sleep clinic. My CPAP needs to be replaced, and I will be having a sleep test done. I’ve heard of CPAP and VPAP in the past ten years, but not BiCap. My conversation with Dr. C (male) did go well, and I am on the right track to get back to using a machine at night when I sleep. The pressure that I am using now is NOT enough for me anymore, and the BiPAP can take higher numbers past 17. I had made a promise to DKF and her husband SF before the friendship was no more — DKF dissolved the friendship as she left, calling me to delete her number and her husband’s to never to speak to each other again. With me going to this appointment has been necessary not to pass up. I am glad I went. I have lost twenty-five pounds since 2014. I’ve had the CPAP for a long time, and it’s — more or less obsolete.
Please forgive me for bringing up some names of my past once again; I am ready to talk about it without feeling emotional about it. DKF’s leaving me and closing our friendship off was the best thing she could have done for me. The stress no longer surrounds me, and I can breathe better openly. I have pain today.
