Please Do Not Judge Me

I Have Been Thinking

One thing I had a little difficulty doing was having a good night’s sleep. I have been watching Forensic Files from Saturday evening through Sunday and this morning. I did get enough rest to the point that I had awakened at 2:30 AM, then fell back to sleep until 5:30 AM, and closed my eyes for another hour. Okay, at 6:24 AM, I decided to get up and begin working on a project that will be used for July 2022. One of those dreams made me think of a dear friend who passed away a year ago. Why? My friend who passed away left a wife behind, and she was a significant part of my dream. I will tell you about my goal today. I do not forget dreams easily when I am between wakefulness and sleep. It was not disturbing—exactly.

When I finally got some sleep, waking up occasionally, I have to admit that I have been thinking about politics lately. With my understanding of politics these days, I want to acknowledge that I have overheard conversations about other people’s thoughts and feelings about politics. I have heard that the Roe and Wade document had been overturned. When my mom called Sunday afternoon, I asked about the Roe and Wade document, and she told me that it was overturned, and the states decided on what to do. I was relieved to hear that, plus mom gave me more understanding of what it was all about—more details if she could elaborate. I knew something about the document and what it is for, and her state, NM, can take abortion up to the third trimester of the baby’s life. My mom and I find this crazy, and we do not like it.

We also disagree with abortion unless it comes to the fact that the mother and, or baby is in danger, and, rape can be a good reason. I have mixed feelings about that. A rape victim who gets pregnant is the decision-maker if they want to carry the baby to term or not, and if they do not want to keep it, they can give the baby up for adoption if they decide. Some women do not be reminded that their son or daughter is a product of rape. I get it, but it is still killing a baby. How do you stand? I am okay with the decision of the pregnant person, and to be brutally honest, I enjoy babies but do not have any of my own. I have chosen not to have children because I had a kidney transplant thirty-four years ago and did not want to carry a baby to term due to harm to the child or the transplanted kidney. Please do not judge me for saying what I just said because, before my kidney failure and need for a transplant, I thought about having my children if God allowed it—if God blessed me that way. But he has not done so, and I am okay with not having my children.

My Day This Morning

With JP gone on vacation, I have a friend helping me prepare for my day from 10 AM to 12 PM (at the latest). I will have the dishes done, a bath, and get dressed for the day and tomorrow. JP and I have a routine for my baths and dialysis days, and I want to continue that routine Monday, Wednesday, and Friday while she is away. On Thursday morning, due to my friend’s schedule, we will have a bath and get dressed for dialysis and be out the door by 8 AM so I can watch for my ride to dialysis. My friend is DH. She was my cook for Meal Magic for a couple of months before the business closed.

One of Those Things That Happened A Lot

Okay, I have been doing some thinking before going to sleep at night. When I wake up, I want to pick up my laptop to begin writing what I am thinking, but then I decide to wait until morning when I start working on my projects. Then, I cannot produce the words, so I need to wait until I am reminded of it again. When nights like this happen, I get annoyed and go on with my life anyway. Sometimes I do not make sense when I write. Do I write just to write? Sometimes.

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ksmiley

As a diarist and blogger, please bear with me as I continue to upgrade my blog as time moves forward. Thank you.

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