Today is my 53rd birthday. I feel alone right now—as if this is an ordinary and ordinary day before the Fourth of July holiday. Fireworks were on display on July 1st this year. Even though I will have JP here to help celebrate my birthday, I am still feeling lonely, too. I am pretty much alone otherwise. Tears have run down my face already from 4 AM to 8 AM. I have shed so many tears of frustration this year, too—since I have been home.
Therapy today—on my birthday—is something I do not want, but I have made progress since last July when I began losing my legs due to covid and the hematoma was found, and my legs became a hurtful mess—the memories of getting the big bad wolf of a bruise, as happened yesterday. I do not forget easily.
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What is the Fourth of July like without fireworks going off around you? The City of Janesville had the fireworks on July 1st, and I did not hear them like I usually do every year. Saddened a little bit, and I do not know why to be honest. I am probably dealing with how my birthday turned out yesterday. I feel so alone and do not want to be bothered.
