Realizing One Thing

I do have to admit that today I realized one major factor of my life so now I am going to make some more changes in my life – my world – once again. I did not feel good, not at all, all weekend, and I felt the anxiety flare up real bad. What I have realized, and I am being very serious here, that if my anxiety is so high and two very good friends can not help me calm down like they always can otherwise, the pain in my body is a after affect – a reaction – flares up. Today it flared up so badly that it took a lot to move, I could not have anyone touch me without the nerve endings screaming and I cried a few times and wanted to cry all day long. I have not expressed such pain as I did today since September 2008. Even with the pain being severe, after such a long time, I do have to admit that, I was able to function and make the best of my day. CSE came down for a couple of hours and left before 7 pm to take a nap and do other things for herself and to let me have time for myself and Bing Crosby the cat.