My Evening Thoughts Before Bedtime…

Ahhh…. Evening has come and I have had shower, supper of stuffed chicken and canned corn (veggie), a few minutes ago 3 pieces of bread. I am definitely full and ready for bed now. KB left ay 617 pm – to my own devices for the rest of the weekend with the idea of not having any company – a ‘me’ weekend alone and defending for myself. I am feeling better from my UTI symptoms now and taking the antibiotic until Tuesday morning. I feel sone normalcy once again after a few days FINALLY. I felt uncomfortable way too long in my book of life/world and now I am feeling good again. YAY! YIPPEE! I am not looking forward to the weekend ending just yet but I am looking forward to the upcoming week as well. When I was not feeling the greatest from last week and this week, admittingly, each weekday was seen and done with energy that was depleated and not really there but those days were managed the best I could emotionally and physically. I did not dread the days coming but were glad the days left. I wanted to find out what was wrong with me and start feeling better again so I keep on my regimen of keeping Dr. H informed on how I was feeling and do what I felt was right during my worst anxiety time I have ever felt in my life by Monday knowing something was not right – an infection of some kind but not sure how bad if really was until I saw Dr. K in the ER. sorry about the rambling!! Anyway am feeling better and I noticed it yesterday. Anyway… I still had my showers Monday – Saturday, cleaned on Tuesday and JP did a load of laundry, checked my food situation, and left for the day, went to lunch with IDS clients/consumers at Fujis and my appetite has been good. After having Thursday and Friday eating crackers to keep my stomach with some kind of food until I feel I can actually eat a meal. Crackers were and are a good tasty filler when food does not feel like an option when anxiety has been high and food does not seem to be not an option. My body acts strange sometimes so I treat my stomach issues like the flu and food is put on the sidelines. Dr. H is always on top of my health issues and is a great family doctor. She is one I am not afraid of and one I can trust fully. That’s hard to explain about my trust in people so I will not ECM try tonight – tired now…

My evening after KB has left has been great!! I finished The Long Winter a while ago – before writing my last entry here – watched a show – comedy on Disney – and now ending my night watching a movie made this year titled Possessing Piper Rose that was recorded at 7 pm. I took my evening meds and now relaxing before bed. The movie is very good – horrific in a way that is perfect for the Halloween weekend. I don’t celebrate Halloween at all anymore but will watch a horror movie once in a great while but not too often anymore as if keeps me up all ntght after a bad dream or nightmare haunts my peaceful sleeping realm of life, lol. Watching horror movies is best done during the day in my world these days.

Life At TM These Days

With KM gone from here it seems more relaxed and filled with more light even though cloudy days are becoming more as winter looms not that far away now. A ray of sunshine has entered the building once more according to some tenants who live here. Since KM has moved, I have not heard from her but two tenants have – BB and CSE. When CSE was down here earlier this week, KM called her on CSE’s cell phone. After CSE ended the call CSE relayed a hello to me from KM. I was not impressed or even very happy about that at all. KM can call me and tell me hello herself and CSE should not have relayed a message to me at all. KM could have even asked to talk to me if CSE TOLD her I was right here but aye didn’t DO THAT! I personally wish that CSE would have more sense about some things. That is one reason, being silent about it, why CSE is not here this weekend. Yes…I am not happy with CSE again but a tad bit okay as well. CSE is NOT a true friend and KM is NOT either. I am GLAD KM is gone from TM NOW. YAY!! Now I CSE WAS GONE FROM THIS PLACE OR NEVER EETURNED here in December or January. I really hate the person she become – name and all. She has literally turned people away from her and has become cold, mean at times, and seems not mentally all there anymore. What has happened in her life was not good either but I do have to admit that I still hate the name change and I am still not really accepting her new name because I know why the name change happened and why it did was rather stupid because her past is now haunting her and it makes her more distance. She has taken me and NMS to the sidelines of her today’s world and lives her life with her new name and her ex-husband is still in the picture with his new wife and I don’t find that at all healthy – he is in the picture way too often. My ex-boyfriend is happily married and wevhave a relationship but we only talk on Facebook most of the time. Anyway….

My life at TM has been good since KM has moved away from here. I have run into some minor health issues that needed meds or the doctor has recorded about. Two more tenants are moving out in two days so we will have two more unoccupied apartments and so this place is emptying out … not sure who has been telling other people who do not live here that this place has bad management and the tenants are all kooks and nuts, and becoming I’ll-minded! KR, the manager believes it was KM doing it and I believe she will continue to do it as long as she lives in town! I also believe that other tenants are also saying things about this place as well. What I say about this place is that this building does have a hold of all of us somehow – I believe that anyway – but since I moved from the 3rd floor to the 1st floor, I have been happier longer and my world is not as emotionally dark it once was. I may not remember what I have said by January 1, 2012 but I will say this…I have been in less joint pain in the past 2 years now and my depression has been at a level of no problems. My anxiety disorder has improved but still has some work yet to be done. The end of this subject. More later….when necessary. Bedtime shortly anyway and I want to sleep well.

One Last Thought on a Happier Note/Tune

I had to vent a little … Sorry about that. Anyway…. The night closing in and Sunday soon upon me, I hav to admit that I am GLAD to seeing October go in a couple of days! I had another rough month emotionally and physically but managed once again. Yay! The movie Posessing Piper Rose was a very good movie and with a very happy ending all around!!! Another Yay!!!

Good night and God bless!!!

Author: ksmiley

As a diarist and blogger, please bear with me as I continue to upgrade my blog as time moves forward. Thank you.

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