Yesterday’s Thought 02/12/12 Excuse The Caps and on My ThoughTs Now

I am using my Mac compuTer righT now so my T’s are all capiTalized, lol. SomeThing I did in The SeTTings ThaT has made me have To capiTalize my T’s and I have no idea whaT I did or remember whaT I did aT The Time, eiTher! IT drives me crazy so I rarely use The InTerneT on This compuTer anymore. I have so much To say Today, Too. I have slepT in Today! I am have napped off and on all morning and early afTernoon ThaT I am now fully awake and ready To go for my day, lol. IT was a very sleepy day ALL DAY! I am okay, Though. My lapTop wireless porTion is up and down Today so I am puTTing up wiTh iT – a Time To geT off my boTTom and geT moving abouT. YesTerday my back ached because I have my period righT now. IT is noT achy Today much – lessened and I can move wiTh less Tension Today – Thank goodness. Today I waTched Halloween H20: TwenTy Years LaTer and Jamie Lee CurTis was awesome in This 1998 movie – her moTher had a small speaking role in iT – one ThaT I saw only. Her moTher died in 2003 and 2004. I had awakened To find ThaT WhiTney HousTon has passed away lasT nighT and iT is all over The News onLine and Two people senT me a TexT Telling me abouT iT. WhiTney is one of my favoriTes since I was inTroduced To her greaTesT GifT of All song and goT The casseTTe Tape for a birThday gifT from my parenTs one year – IT was awesome unTil I wore The Tape ouT noT Too long afTerwards, lol. Technology has grown so much since Then, Too! As I siT here on he compuTer, I am lisTening To music on iTunes. Some ChrisTian, operaTic, easy lisTening and sofT rock, and enjoying my day The besT I can.

AfTer lasT nighT’s Talk wiTh NMS, my hearT is feeling heavy wiTh anger, pain, and confusion. Yes, NMS upseT me wiTh her aTTiTude abouT how she never goT an geT well soon card from The TenanTs of The building like everyone else would have. She even copped This feeling sorry ATTiTude when I did noT Tell Papa and Mama B ThaT she was ever in The hospiTal or in The nursing home. IT’s like I did noT Tell Mama and Papa B because iT never crossed my mind during our conversaTions and I did noT say noThing. ThaT really boThers me righT now. I am going To have To Talk To MM abouT This when we Talk Tomorrow afTernoon. I need some answers before my hearT is relieved again. I have hung up from The conversaTion I had wiTh NMS wiTh a feeling of dread, a deadness ThaT I always feel wiTh NMS every Time we have such horrid conversaTions such as The kind we had lasT nighT. Her emoTional healTh is bad. I haTe her feeling sorry aTTiTude. I am sick of hearing iT ALL The Time. She even acTs like no one is keeping her in Touch, and I am here calling her every couple of days every darn week as if ThaT is noT enough for her. I know now she is very emoTionally ill! Sick indeed. I even menTioned ThaT CSE asked me if I have heard of NMS coming home and NMS felT ThaT CSE does noT call me and ask herself – I can undersTand her pain There. i see CSE more Than she ever does and CSE’s emoTional healTh is noT good eiTher. SomeThing is wrong wiTh boTh NMS and CSE To The PoinT of iT being very scary and yeT puT myself in Their lives over and over again and again and never walk away from Them forever. NeiTher person is healThy. I jusT wish a docTor could declare Them boTh unable To make Their own decisions! They are noT making good decisions for Themselves righT now. Sad buT True.

More laTer…

Author: ksmiley

As a diarist and blogger, please bear with me as I continue to upgrade my blog as time moves forward. Thank you.

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