I have decided to stay home from church yesterday and take it easy. I have had a lot going on in my world lately that I have “taken a day off”. I had called my ride the night before last and told them that I will not be going to church with them after all. The feeling of anxiety building up looms high right now and I need to stay as sane as possible a little longer. So far it is just not working out the way I have hoped because I know that starting Monday begins a very busy week for me and sleep has been an on and off thing. Without time for myself is not helping either. I am not really enjoying what is around me as much as I have done in the most recent past because I have been so busy. I am beginning to find appointments are getting in the way right now and I have two appointments next week on Tuesday and Friday, and I do not want to go to my Tuesday appointment.
I did go to church this morning. I saw my friends and other church members during Sunday School/Growth Group and then saw my friends SJW and her husband MW at the 11 am worship service and then I came home. I have had my afternoon shower and my shower gal has left, and now I have time for myself.
The time I have for myself does not feel like my time really. I am restless and feeling the pressure of anxiety building up. It is not a very good feeling and it is very uncomfortable.
To add to my collection of emotion, today happens to be the birthday of a high school colleague of mine. I wish that this high school colleague would stop pestering my memory bank today but it is not happening right now. I am not very happy right now. This high school colleague, if he would have listened to reason a couple of years ago. I believe we would still be friends today but he chose to delete and block me from Facebook. His choice has cost a friendship at his end and I have been hurt. The idea of trusting this person again is questionable. I am better off without this person.