I cannot believe that the month of March will be leaving in so many hours from now forever. This month of 2018 is about to leave with memories good and bad. Looking back on this month to this hour of day 31 of March, I have been happier and more comfortable in my skin. The stress has been relieved from my life to the extent of being able to deal with what goes on from one day to the next and be happy for another day to come. I have had less days where I dreaded someone coming to help with my cares and needs. I know that this past week had a couple of rough days, and Wednesday being the roughest, I will not forget that day for as long as I will remember. As a woman who professes to be a Christian who loves God, Wednesday, would have fooled everyone who have heard what words were coming out of my mouth. The words that came out of my mouth are not repeatable and those words will not be shared in my diary at any given time. I know that I made God unhappy that day. Anxiety, panic, and menses do not always mix very well when I think the whole world is mad at me when I am doing my best at communicating with someone who can possibly help me, and that person cannot talk to me. I really do hate myself for losing control after a certain level of anxiety hits my thinking process. I know I am always wrong in my thinking. I do know that I have made someone not very happy, but since then, DKF has spoken to this person and things have become smoother between the two of them. You see, ever since IDS has closed their doors September 2017, I have lost my sounding board, and I have felt that I had found another sounding board with DKF, but she was not able to communicate with me that day until she got here around 6 PM for my cares and IRIS time. Now it is Saturday, March 31, and Wednesday is now a memory I will not forget for as long as I can remember, and I am moving forward to other things now.
I have no major plans this weekend except for church this morning. I have to go now as my ride is on its way. I will write more when I have the opportunity to do so.
