The Need to Talk

I have looked forward to today since yesterday when I spoke to my boyfriend KB and his mom about going out to eat for lunch. In fact, we had lunch at a place called Fazoli’s – an Italian restaurant that now has 213 “stores” nationwide now since 2015. It was delicious food and dessert. I know I did not leave the restaurant with an empty stomach. I also had a great time with my boyfriend and his mom.

When I got back from eating out, I did not go home right away. I ended up visiting with neighbors in the lobby and the community room. I do not do that very often because in an apartment building like mine has cliques and I wish to not be in any clique. Upon doing this chatting with other tenants, I had realized that it was a mistake on my part to even get into conversation with anyone here. I was told that it was rumored I was moving out and then the conversation went on to other subjects. I ended up leaving the community room with an achy heart because the conversation about our former neighbor in apartment 213 and her getting kicked out/evicted because she disobeyed the rules of living here, and her boyfriend is the person to thank for her being evicted. One of the tenants mentioned that the problems that began not right away, but I disagreed with that and felt horrible about even talking to anyone in the building. As I left for my apartment/home, I saw another tenant with her dog Scotty, and he was being taken outside to do his business. After they came back in, I asked if the tenant wanted to meet Bing Crosby the Cat, and she visited for a little while until my IRIS hired worker AR arrived at 3 PM. Yes, I did not get back to my apartment until almost 3 PM. Since I did not have my cell phone with me, I had gotten a text from AR that she was one her way at 2:49 PM to be here by 3 PM. When AR got here, the tenant and Scotty the Dog left. It will be a long time, again, before I go into the community to visit neighbors. I would rather keep to myself.

As I sit here telling about what happened in the community room this afternoon, I wonder why I am even bothered about such rumors and talk. I must be one sad human being for allowing it to bother me so. I hate people talking about things that are not even true or say things that are true, but their version of what happened is right and others are wrong. Everyone is in individual and God made us all, but how we choose to run our lives is a decision we have to make on our own. God will not even force himself onto anyone, but he will find ways reach everyone in His way because He knows us all. RS has been gone for almost a year now, anyway, and what she has chosen to do in her life is what she has chosen to do. I cannot believe that the tenant who moved into #213 has been here almost a year already. It has been a peaceful several months now. The “new” tenant is a good person, and that is a plus. I am one of those people who wants to give everyone a chance and to be liked by others as well, but I know that is just wishful thinking.

Despite my feelings about what has happened today, I have realized something very important in my life. I had gotten rid of the big desk I have had for several years on August 2, and I did not realize how depressing it (the desk) was. My new desk, a much smaller model and something I find beautiful in its own way because now I have space and room in my living room to move about without hazards or concerns of falling. Now I just have to wait for my new couch, but that is not coming until Wednesday, Aug 8. I have been very happy since I had donated my futon and desk. Now I have a smaller, useful desk for my laptop(s), and will be getting a loveseat with sleeper.. I am happier. The only part of this change is getting used to it and I believe that it is taking Bing Crosby the Cat longer to get used to the changes occurring than it is for me right now. Although changes do not occur in my life in rapid succession, I do have to admit that change does do some good in the long run once it happens.

It is time to say good night and I hope everyone does have a good night. God bless.

About ksmiley

I feel I am back to journaling once again.
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