Thank You

I would like to say thank you to Honey,, Britani18, and Paulette for commenting yesterday at my journal. All three of my DD friends said real nice thoughts that really meant a lot to me. I find that friendship is so important for everyone including myself that it does hurt greatly that a friend or person I thought was my friend seemed to turn because she is a follower and not a leader. I am so glad that I have three friends who can be trusted here where I live, which I found out yesterday afternoon. I have friends outside the building here as well, too. I am feeling better today!!

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“Friends”



For the longest time now – not just today – I have been thinking about friend and friendship. It surely has been a rough couple of weeks. I am beginning to know exactly who my true friends are where I live here and who are not my friends. Dictatorship has tried to rule this building but it is not going to happen.

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Tired, Annoyed, yet Relieved…

The last time I had written, which was earlier today, my body seemed to be drained from most of its energy, I was worn out and the last word was YAWN. I am still tired indeed, but energy has been renewed enough that I can sit up and type another entry that is definitely longer. The title of the entry will definitely be seen throughout the entry.

I am tired of the junk that is going on in this building as far as the tenants are concerned. Thiis placce, truly, has become a place of the hellish nature because some of the tenants have been so nasty. A big weight was lifted off of me, which seemed to press against my entire being, in time as a friend spoke to me regarding the “troublemakers” of this place. I have lived here for five years now and I love it here that much but the last few weeks my place did not feel like my home in or out. After this after, being what I call “a chewing out”, I felt that burden lift off of my entire being. I was getting tired of the depression I was feeling for so long!

Here is the annoying part of it all…the friendship I once thought was so good between Nana and I has definitely died to nothing. The annoying part of it all is the fact that I can not talk to Nana aboat what is going in my life as if she has turned around from nice to not so nice. I have learned and just accepted the fact that Nana is a follower – a person who is easy to convince. When was the last time I had spoken to her was last Tuesday when we had appointments at the same hair salon that morning, and that was six days ago. My heart is still aching over this turnabout way of Nana.

A burden was lifted off my heart, body, and soul today…thanks to a “friend” who can be trusted around here. I have three friends I can trust now on the inside of this place.

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Wore Out



I feel that a big weight was lifted off of me today as exhauusted has settled into my bones this afternoon. I have a lot of friends who care, more than I realize at times, about me. I feel wore out today…YAWN

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Iffy



It seems impossible, but after yesterday’s sunshiny day, it is cloudly and gloomy outside. A little bit ago the wind was moving the branches more vigerously than it is now. Earlier in the morning Emilee was howling about the apartment as if something was going on. Things have been so awkward around here anyway. Tension is all around here, even in MY own apartment. For some reason I do not feel like writing anymore today so I am logging off for the day. Looks like it is going to rain later anyway. Bye for now and for the rest of the day,

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The Bad Dream



It just seems right but I had a bad dream. In the dream, one of the tenants was talking to me in the hallway say9ing things just to provoke me to saying something that is not good. I kept my mouth shut but soon, as I got to my apartment, I turned to her and asked her to “leave me alone, please”. She did not seem surprised. Then, in the dream, I called the management and told them what was going on and I was told to stay in my apartment. I was shaking by then because all of a sudden the door changed into a door with a window and tenants were screaming and clinging to the door tryint to get in.

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……………



Today I did not go to school since the instructor was not going to be on campus so I slept in until 8 a.m. and in hopes that I would be getting together with RH but that never happened. He could not go out for reasons that he was not well so I ended up staying home all day long. I was disppointed, yes, but it was not so bad staying home. Who wants to leave this place and wants to come back anyway?

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…………..

What can I do? I did noot go to school today to the social which was from 12 – 3 p.m. I was lazy all day long – at least until 12 noon wheN I finally got dressed. Now I feel like getting a bath and wash my hair which needs to be washed.

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………….



I do not know if I am going to be on line very long today because the weather looks a little iffy outside. It rained yesterday, too, and as matter of fact, it thundered in the afternoon while I was at my doctor’s appointment which started late and I had to wait for forty-five minutes for my ride afterwards! It got chilly outside but it was bearable for the length of time I stood outside waiting. This might the only entry I write today but who really knows except God.

I found out yesterday that my Oral Communications instructor will not be on campus tomorrow or Monday, so I do not to be at school tomorrow. I really do not know how I feel about that but I am staying home. I have another four day weekend coming AGAIN! I am so GLAD that I have class at 9 a.m. Monday morning otherwise I would have had a five day weekend. BORING just thinking about it.

I talked to my friend Nana yesterday and I am not sure how I feel about that as well. It has been a stressful time for me everywhere I go lately. It is a pain lately and practically a disaster. Depression has set in and my anxieties have been raised off and on since Grandpa Clarence died. I can not believe that people can’t leave people alone anymore and troubles arise and things happen. The peaceful environment I once experienced is now not as comfortable as it once was. It is almost frightening to leave my place because there are people who watch your every move sometimes. I am pretty much staying away from people in my building because the tension is so high and even in my own apartment the tension is higher than usual. It is frightening to some point I have not felt like talking a lot as I have a one track mind lately. It is even hard to concentrate at school as my mind feels fuzzy and confused with other things. It does not make sense right now. Even my own apartment feels like a stranger! That’s scary!

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….

Sorry, no entry today.

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