Kristi Karnopp's Diary & Blog

I am here at school, until 11 a.m. and this is the Friday I’ve ever been here this semester. It sure does feel kind of strange because Fridays are fairly quiet on BTC’s campus. It is not as busy here today as it has been and I do like the quietness the SNL has. My friend who takes me to school in the mornings has a class on Fridays and I did not go to school to study as I planned for other reasons that took place, so I decided to take today and come into school for a couple of hours even though it is going to be a short while. It is a good day today…a nice day outdoors even!

More Later

I have been thinking all day long on independence and freedom and how America is so lucky to be free. We have freedom of speech, freedom of religion, independence, etc… Just the idea of losing the freedom of anything/everything would crush all of us Americans and those who understand and are behind our freedom in the United States. Look at the countries – the people – who don’t like our freedoms in this country. We are united over here, but we are not all united in this world as far as countries go. The fact of losing the freedom of religion, freedom of speech, and most of all independence are three big issues in my life and those who are in my life. I am not one much for politics because of the controversy that politics raise in this wold although I have no conrol of what goes on in the political world. For the next several days, until the end of this semester, I am going to sit here thinking about how fortunate I am to have the freedoms I do have along with other Americans who feel the same way I do. Even though I am not very political myself as far as running for President or some other political office, I do listen and I do have feelings just like other people. The only feelings I need to yet master is the feeling of hate – those people in other countries hating our America so much because of the freedoms we have that they don’t have.

I remember yesterday in Business Law talking about how the Americans “us” live in today’s world of freedom, comparing those countries that don’t agree with our freedom and yet still have slaves/employees working for the rich, where we have nothing like that today thanks to Abraham Lincoln. As we were talking about what America has as far as freedom and what we have altogether comparing to other countries that don’t have what we have or even is coming close to what we have. Jealousy is among different people in other countries because we are more free than other countries. Yes, our Government is different from other countries as well. What President Roosevelt wanted for our country is here today plus more things. I have been thinking about the independence of this world in an individual matter. I am disabled/handicapped with a mild case of cerebral palsy and independence only happened a few years ago when I was able to take care of my finances on my own. With the help from my mom who took me out of the program I was in in the early 1998 year, I finally got my wish of independence come into the future much faster. Just thinking of losing that independence today would be devastating according to my mind. I have fought, along with many other handicapped/disabled people for independencec – otherwise I might be among the many in an institution and being watched constantly about this and that and independence would be very small. I can understand an elderly persono with a disease or terminal illness, like my grandpa, being in a nursing home to get the medical care he needs and the 24/7 love from the workers. My grandpa has Alzheimer’s Disease. Today I am living in an apartment complex with other tenants surrounding me, happy and living the life I want to live, as well as I am very happy here even though some tenants would try to make other tenants miserable or cause trouble. I just get out of here for the day or for a while in order to get away, or I just lock my door and stay away from the outside world for a short time. I find, at times only, escaping to this computer of mine, a safe haven from the real world and then I bounce back to the real world immediately after I get off or leave this computer. I have been thinking again and boy that is not always good, LOL. I have been thinking about life and what America has – FREEDOM…

What to title my entries is sometimes a question to me. I don’t know what to title an entry now and then. That is pathetic sometimes. Yesterday, when I mentioned that it looked like it was going to rain, I noticed it did not rain at all until late last night when I was asleep and I did not hear the rain patter on the roof. I had awakened to a quiet and eerie feeling in my place with my cat at my feet on the couch. What a lovey dovey cat Emilee has been lately! She has been so good lately…for the past three weeks now, hmmmm. I had gotten ready for school a little after 7 a.m. this morning and I had left a little after 8:30 a.m. having breakfast at school. I am off to get my studying done in a few minutes but I couldn’t start out my day without getting on the Internet and checking my e-mail and writing my first entry here. I have a test in Economics this afternoon and I have something to do for Business Law – getting ready for my BL final exam.

It has been a while since I have written in my journal here. I have been ill with an urinary tract infection. How I learned I had one was Thursday night I had gotten a temperature of 102.5 and I could not go to the bathroom very well, and that burning sensation was there – OUCH! I had learned of the results on Friday, along with my blood work for the month of May regarding my kidney. Yesterday afternoon sometime my kidney transplant coordinator called me regarding my urine culture from the same test on Friday that was definitely something there causing an infection. I had my blood work done again because my creatine was 1/10 of a point higher than the doctors would like my creatine to be at. Yesterday the creatine went back to the normal pointage my body is used to. WHEW My health at this time is fine, thankfully, and my urinary tract infection is getting out of my system. No more burning sensation and frequent bathroom visits. The only frequent visitt to the bathroom is because I am keeping myself hydrated with water and juices.

When was the last time I had an UTI? hmmm…about three years ago or so now. I have another UTI under my belt this weekend, yuck, and I found out through an urine specimen that was requested by me from my doctor. Now that explains my 102.5 temperature Thursday night late, ouch, and going to the bathroom was even worse, actually. Well…now I think I am out of the woods for anything worse to happen as I am taking Cotrim, an antibiotic and my fever has not returned for several hours now. I am considering on missing my classes on Monday to make sure that everything is out of the woods for sure as far as bloodwork – my creatine was 1/10 of a point higher than what my doctor would like it to be. Creatine was 1.5 and the rest of my blood counts were in the normal ranges. My creatine was a little on the high side because of the fever I was trying to combat for the past couple of days which is now ??? not here.

Considering to not go to classes on Monday does bother my conscience some for some odd reason. I have had a perfect attendance in both classes. Again, I might attend my clases and then relax but I have a friend who told me earlier today that I should stay home and rest so I don’t have a relapse. I have already, by another friend’s request, stayed home from going to church this morning. Mother’s do know best, don’t they…YEP Okay, for safety and health reasons, I will stay home from school on Monday and return to classes on Wednesday. I don’t know how long I really had this UTI in the first place. At first it acted like a cold.

Because I have not felt good for the last few days, I have noticed that my attendance on my computer had faltered a bit, too. I realized that yesterday when I did not feel good at all and my computer was only turned on for a few minutes to check my e-mail and reply to the most important ones, and then I turned off the computer. Today is the first day, of all days, I have been able to get on the computer and sit here for any length of time beyond five minutes without the need to lay down on the couch or go to bed. I do have to admit that I am getting pretty tired now and it is only going on 7 p here. My sleep was a bit disturbed these past couple of days because I had to go to the bathroom so many times during the night and I was pretty restless and uncomfortable. So this is my weekend…home and feeling a tad bit shut out from the real world outside. LOL Really that is not a laughing matter I guess And here I thought it was a bad cold!!! NOT!

Some days it pays to be ill I guess. I have been pampered to some degree. My surrogate Mom has been there for me these past few days since I have been feeling icky and today for lunch, G had come up with a tray of food that Mom prepared for their lunch. Boy was it ever yummy for my tummy. i actually noticed I was getting my appetite back from having such a hard time with the fever two nights before. G & Mom do care about people and I am forever grateful for that, that’s for sure, and I love them both so much!

Here I go rambling on and on. Classical music is playing behind me and it is so pretty and relaxing. I am beginning to feel tired. Is sleep going to come easy for me tonight? I hope so really. Not having enough sleep for a couple of days have been rough I’ve noticed. Here I go repeating myself. Oh well…LOL

I have not seen G yet this afternoon, early evening. I called his place as well as Mom’s and noticed that both answering machines kicked in showing me that they were either resting or out somewhere. I wonder if they went to visit Mom’s ex husband who has been ill for some time now and is not expected to live much longer – in hopes that he does. I am not worried or jealous that they left me behind…I’m sick remember? Mom is the one who suggested me not to go to church this morning anyway and I know she meant well. I am beginning to feel like my ol’ self again, thankfully! YEAH!!

I think this concludes my journaling for this day of May 4, 2002. Good bye for the night.