Been Thinking

My world is moving slowly but surely and I do have to say it is moving.  I am still not happy with RS and I am going to take the weekend without her and concentrate on what needs to be done in my world in the days ahead.  I have to take of me right now and be healthy emotionally.  I have to take care of me for now.  It is almost the end of the month and April will be here.  Saturday is my mom’s 70^th birthday and then April 5^th, another Saturday a week from Saturday will be my dad’s 72^nd birthday.  I have to have a lot of me time right now and get things under control.  Two days ago I handled my appointment very well emotionally and I am looking forward to a fine recovery after surgery on April 14^th.  I cannot worry about what other people are jabbering about that has nothing to do with me anyway.  If RS is not happy with me, let her be unhappy with me.  I do not need her attitude about what is supposedly going on around here when I myself do not see or hear anything out of the ordinary.  I am a very observant person and what I am supposed to see will be shown to me through God and I will go from there.  My emotions have been both enlightening and raw at the same time because I no longer have anxiety and panic attacks.  I have found myself many times and the past couple of days questioning whether I am having an anxiety attack or dealing with normal emotion.  What a wonder I find myself in with that after 2 years.