Because it was Saturday, and please forgive me for beginning my sentence “because,” I had my boyfriend’s mom come over to have a Bible study with me. At the same time, my boyfriend was spending time with his dad, who comes down from the Madison, Wisconsin area to be with him once or twice a month. Bible study resumed between TB and me instead of KB, TB, and me. After TB left, I had an hour before my IRIS worker MC came to work for me.
Even though I prefer DKF over anyone else working for me, I do love MC very much. She is in her mid-80’s, and fun to be with, her work tactics being old fashioned, I find her ways different from DKF’s. I like DKF’s way of cleaning over MC’s. I feel I am very picky and set in my ways at the of 49, going on age 50 as of July 3, 2020.
Once again, I have come to change the look of my diary while writing. I used to use Word, but I have gotten rid of the monotonous yearly subscription. I have been using iOS instead of Windows for several years, and the annual subscriptions are getting very expensive for my low-income status of being handicapped and having health issues at this time. I use what Apple (iOS) has allowed Mac owners to use Pages, Numbers, and Keynote. These three programs are free to use for the Mac user. I love the iOS operating system comparing to Windows. The programs Pages, Numbers, and Keynote is similar to Word, Excel, and PowerPoint. I am using Pages now, and have been since January 1, 2020. I have to create my cover page as Pages does not have that option. I have enough imagination to create my cover pages. Yes, it is extra work, and I have time to spare every day to work on my writing projects.
January 2020 has now left the stage so that February can do its performance. I believe, for most of the month, January went by fast. Is it true that when someone gets older, time does go by more quickly? I have noticed a little difference in the days gone by as I have gotten older throughout the days of my life since childhood. Even some days do not seem to go fast enough, or it could be that I have a rough patch in my day, or I am bored to death. Today is dialysis day, and the weekend begins once dialysis over this afternoon. Yep, I have what I consider two types of weekends now. If and when I change days going to dialysis to Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, my weekend begins at sundown Friday night to Monday. Right now, having dialysis on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday, to me, makes it two weekends even though Monday is a weekday.
I have been up since 5:30 AM this morning. I thought of getting up and writing in my diary before my day began with bathing, getting dressed, and heading out the door to dialysis when I decided to get to writing in my journal by 6 AM before my IRIS worker DKF got here before 7:30 AM. That is when she comes on Saturday mornings until further notice. She will not be here on February 8 and February 15. Why not spend a little time writing in my diary? It is an excellent time to do so.
Okay, there are times when I need to write more than I have done so in the past, and today is one of those days. With January 2020 ends its grand month, it is now time for it to take a bow, and allow February to make a grand entrance. How did your first month of 2020 go for you? I will not argue how the month went. Yes, once again, having a rough last week of January, my world still moved forward at a slower pace to get through with some dignity still and whatever power I had to get through the rough patches I faced. Dialysis goes smoothly when I am not all keyed up, anxious, or moving my neck so that the catheter doesn’t work well and the machine beeps a warning that needs attention from a dialysis technician or nurse. With the rough patch no behind me, it does not mean I will forget what and why it happened. I am an observer and I do not forget things easily. Now with January bowing out for the 2020 year, I am ready for February 2020. I will take it one day at a time from now on.
Good evening with bed looming close, I wanted to say good night. The weekend has begun and I am doing a couple of things before heading to bed for the night. I have dialysis in the morning for three hours and fifteen minutes so staying up until midnight watching television like I did last night does not happen when I have a necessary appointment at the dialysis center. I just wanted to make some noise tonight in words more so than shouting at the top of the rooftop kind of noise. It has been a relaxing day, and I did get what I wanted to do here my Dear Diary pages. I hope everyone has a good weekend.
I am working hard here today, on my Dear Diary pages the past couple of days when I have a chance. Since I do not have dialysis on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I purposely take the time to get things done online the best I can. I have been staying up until 10 PM on nights I do not have to worry about getting up at 7 AM to get ready for my day. Power naps happen when they do. I was able to work on my website at Dear Diary to suit my needs and likes. Now that I am a Patreon member with DD, I have learned of options with how my site can look. I have found two favorite looks I do love and will be using. The two I like is Sugar and Spice, and Twenty Seventeen. I am still in editing stages and in the meantime, I will do my best at writing in my diary on a daily to regular basis. Yes, I know that I am a little behind. I am a work in progress on a daily basis.
I do have to admit that one of the things I live about being a patreon member is the price. I love it. I can make my diary look awesome. I am still playing with ideas for each page I have created. Life with blogging, journaling, and writing has become fun.
I am here tonight, before 10 PM, playing catch up with my journaling/diary since the last time I have written. Please forgive me for any gross details. I need to be real. Nothing about me is fake anymore. I will tell it like it is when necessary. Okay, here comes the grossness. I got my monthly yesterday, and after dialysis, I had a bad afternoon. I had a gross mess to clean up a couple of times because I had a couple of bowel issues. With cerebral palsy and after dialysis, my body fights to stand and stay standing for any length of time. Cleaning myself up is a long process when I am home alone after my IRIS worker leaves for the day. I also found that I am getting my 27.5 hours of personal care cut down to 11.5 hours, starting the last part of February. Not cool. Okay, I get it. I have gotten my menses for the month, finding out that my care hours have been cut drastically, and the rest of my evening was watching a few hours of Cold Case on the ROKU channel until 9:30 PM. That was my night.
I had awakened a couple of times with bowel issues. I was glad it was not messy. I spoke to JR, my IRIS consultant, and we are going to make sure I fill out paperwork for extra funding to have supportive home care hours amended, if possible. I asked her if a letter would help, and she told me that it would not help at all. I have to fill out paperwork. Okay, I get it. EVERYTHING needs a paper trail nowadays. Geesh.
Despite what has happened the past twenty-four hours, my IRIS worker DKF said that I handled the situation well. I beg to differ, but I do understand what she meant. Yes, I had a rough afternoon yesterday, had a couple of messes to clean up, I have my monthly menses, and here I am taking care of a situation the only way I knew I could do. My world spun despite my emotional downfall the past several hours of my life, and I am still alive.
In case anyone is interested, please look at this site. The program I am in is IRIS:
Hello and good evening from Wisconsin this fine night. How was everyone’s day? My day was great. I have been lazy and I love being lazy after my IRIS worker leaves for the day. I watched Matlock, Diagnosis Murder, Dr. Phil, Judge Judy, Without A Trace, and spoke to my sweetheart. I also believe that the building’s maintenance man came by when the sunset for the night and he threw a snowball at my living room window area. How I know this is because a few seconds after hearing this snowball hitting the wall, I see the face of a man smiling at me outside coming into the building. The maintenance man is a character sometimes, LOL.
I am hoping and praying that I do not miss another Saturday of dialysis. We are expecting some more snow in our state this weekend. I have missed two Saturdays worth of dialysis already. My IRIS worker DKF will not take her clients out in bad weather during the year because safety comes first in her book. I do not blame DKF’s way of thinking even though I did explain why I do not like missing dialysis days, and because of her nursing degree, she knows the importance of dialysis as well. I am a stickler when it comes to sticking to a regimen that I am following diligently. It is not easy being Kristi Karnopp here.
I have vowed, since the beginning of 2020, I was going to be writing as much as I can each day. I have realized that I have been doing my best at doing so. I have made it clear that I have found a way to separate some of my thoughts. That is how I have decided to work things out. I have my public diary, Burbank Plaza Apartment, My Book (which it does not have chapters yet), Dialysis Updates, Bing (my cat has a journal), spiritual, God, my blog site 1, and thoughts on the political realm of life have been created. I have been working on my book. I have also vowed that I would speak my mind. Today, outside my blog site a few days ago, I am expressing what has been on my mind before retiring to bed for the night. No, I am not tired yet. I want to be candid now. The 2020 year has been fantastic so far.
Okay, I do have to admit that it has been a great start of my new year so far. Dialysis is going well, and in reality, when it does not go well, it is me (not the catheter) having the problem. I am okay with that. I can deal with that. Even though we are twenty-two days into the 2020 year, I have to admit that I have been working hard on being who I am. Some days I feel that my best friends know me better than I do. I would say my parents know me better than I do, but then I would not be telling the truth. Having my parents (divorced since 1979) and have their new loves since the divorce and the 1980s, I am glad for my parents having who they love in their lives. As far as my dad and his wife, they do not know me better than myself. They think they know me, but they do not know me. Now, my mom does know me better than I do somewhat. She is an easy person to figure out. She has been able to surprise me three times now. The times she was able to surprise me was in 1988, five years ago, and four years ago. She is easy to figure out, LOL
Whatever has happened to the family in 2008, when I have decided not to speak to my brother and his wife for a year, was because I got sick and tired of the lies and what my brother’s wife was doing to me. When they chose not to speak to me from 2009 to the present day, the idea of the lies lives no more. Do I want my brother back in my life? I have been praying about it and will allow my brother back in my life if he chooses. I will never go there to visit without someone with me, and I will not let them lie to me again. I was told I did things while I didn’t do them, and I did not take their daughter’s Game Boy. I am not a thief. My brother’s wife thinks I am. I forgive, but I do not forget. I do care about my brother, and I feel better that he’s not in my life right now. I cannot emotionally take the lies and the feeling of being abused.