This weekend I have been enjoying watching the Disney movie based on the lives of Erica and Courtney Enders, two girls who are drag racing champs today. I love watching stories based on true stories about people who can make a difference for other people; I also like sports even though I do not do sports myself because of my handicap.
I had to get ready for Spring now that we have officially started Spring Friday. Spring is here!!
Sabbath has just ended. A cat nap was taken this afternoon and I feel yet a little tired. I actually felt funny in my stomach. I had visited my mom after getting back from church and she saidshe was not feeling so good. She took her temp while I was there and it was 98.9 and then two hours later she called me and said her temp rose to 99.8. Not good! She has something going on there. Bummer! She hates being sick! Anyway, all is fine at this time and Emilee and I are relaxing and giving the rest of the day a relxing time. I need to go for now anyway, I am bored too death here so I will return later. I am getting tired again anyway, Bye for now.
I do have to admit from reading other entries regarding the war, I do enjoy reading thoughts even though war is something not to smile about. It bothers me to hear about it these days. In fact, what disgusts me is the fact the programms that are usually on in the afternoon are not on. Instead it is live reports on the war and its success or failure somewhere. I really do not like watching it. I really don’t even though it could be a postive report. Who wants to watch it on television live? Not my taste. I could be watching Judge Judy or something else. Bummer!
School Resumes Monday Yesterday’s Anxieties That Personal Thing
When Monday rolled around this week, I was looking forward to the Spring Break for college/school/classes. It was supposed to be something to look forward to here but by Monday, I was pretty much beside myself with not a lot to do. I have been on line off and on here for hours to no end and I have been keeping a running tally (estimated of course) of how many hours at a time I am on my computer. I have been on it more during Spring break than other time I am at school or home during the school week. I was on line the other day over 7 hours and I am never on that much during the school year, at least this semester anyway. I have been beside myself these days during spring break that I got away from my place because I was developing cabin fever and my anxieties were up a bit all week long for some reason or another whether it was personal or private. It has been an odd week and I did not even open a textbook like I had planned altogether when I was going to be home. How horrible is that?! Not good anyway. So here I am, at home today, bored too death. I have no reason to go outside simce it is rainy and wet and it has been pretty much since the beginning of the week pretty much. At least I got out of town Wednesday for a few hours and lunch with Mark, my best man friend and buddy.
Today IS the last day of school’s Spring Break. Thank goodness. I am glad for that.
I really flew the coop yesterday. I had a lot of anxiety yesterday because I could not find my SS card. A company, a cell phone company, wanted two verifications from me – SS card and my picture ID or driving liscence with my picture. The anxiety was awful! I cried and cried and could not figure out what was wrong. I also could not figure it out why I had to fax the different ID’s to the company anyway, when it is used for credit checks all the time. The anxieties began at 10 a.m. yesterday morning and lasted until about 3 p.m. and it was so long and time did not have any meaning whatsoever. It was so bad that I did not even wear my watch at all yesterday. It was that bad again. But the anxieties were taken care of by 3 p.m. and everything seemed fine but after 4 p.m., I had repercussions of the anxieties I dealt with most of the day. I felt like screaming outside my head as I was hearing the screaming inside my head. That was the worst part of the ending I think. I began to the feel the rocking back and forth. It was bad. I hate these kind of days. It is so hard on me and my friends who help me deal with it. I wonder what my immediate family thinks most of the time and that is a whole different story.
Ok doke, part of the reason I went off the handle yesterday was because I now have my period I do not mind having my periods as long as they are decent flows but I hate to fly off the handle because my dratted period. I can be real moody sometimes and it is a pain in the butt for sure for myself and those around me. I hate to be around EVERYONE when I am moody. I am very selective during my moody stages. I hate it witn a passion and believe me there is nothing to love about my period except for the fact that I am glad I get them on time each month. I am also glad about my period being now then next week when I will be travelling to Redgranite, WI to bury my grandfather next t0 my grandma. I am emotional as it is right now. I slept from 10 p.m. to 7 a.m. this morning, took my medications, and fell back to sleep until ALMOST noon! I HOPE TODAY IS A BETTER DAY!
Also, Spring Break for school ends tomorrow afternoon, and classes resume Monday, March 24, 2003. This week has been somewhat boring and I have been online for almost eight hours a day. Yesterday I was online for six solid hours after I got back from Wisconsin Dells with Mark. I CAN’T WAIT UNTIL MONDAY!!
I have to laugh sometimes after something not so good has happened. Sometimes I wonder what I can do to help someone because that someone comes to me and asks me if she has done something wrong because I have been cold. Cold? Well, lately, this someone and myself are in a mood swing at the same time and I can not really help her. It drives me bananas most of the time. Also, this friend has been called a whole lot lately because when I am home from school in the afternoon, she is napping and so I do not call her unless I have to but I cam see my friend’s feelings. My Grandpa Clarence’s death is still fresh on my mind and I have other things that need work. In fact, my world is not 100% smooth right this minute.
I decided to change the “look” again.
We went to see the apartment, which was a hotel room really. It did not look that bad but it did need some work,. It was an older place but liveable and comfortable, A TV, bed, refridgerator (small) and bathroom is all in the rent. I, being a girl, would not live in such a place, but it would be fine for Mark, but truly a better place would be nice. I did the bathroom sink and it was brown with hard water stains! YUCK! Oh well. It is Mark’s decision, but I hope he does not go that route! When I said “icky Day” I meant icky as in wet and rainy all day long. It is almost 6 o’clock here now and the weather has been rainy since I woke up. That is the only icky part of my day. YUCK!
My day began at 6 a.m., an hour before my alarm would have sounded. For the past three nigbts I have been falling asleep on the futon with the telveision running all night long. I was planning on getting up at 7 a.m. and getting ready to go with my friend Mark to Wisconsin Dells to look at an apartment there. He picked me up at 8 a.m. where I waited for him downstairs in the lobby of the building. We left a little before 8 a.m. I think…but I am not totally sure. I had taken a book to read as we drove up to Wisconsin Dells when the scenery got a little boring and the same. I read three chapters! Mark and I did talk off and on, though, so it was not totally quiet in the truck by far. I really wanted to get away from the apartment for a while and Mark had offered a ride to Wisconsin Dells the other night so I could escape from such a place as this – a place where gossip and rumors fly like wild fire some days. People around here just do not have livesso they have to get other lives outside their own boring life. I am so glad I am a studet and away from here M – F going to school. I have been a so-called victim of such gossip and rumors here when I first moved here and again some of the tenants who are elderly do not want younger people here because all we want to do is party, listen to loud music, and stay up late. That is not me. There are nights I am up late, but I do not make excessive noise and I follow the rules of noise after 10 p.m.. Anyway, Mark got me away from my place and I was allowed to be free of such walls that are always the same. I needed and wanted a channge for a few hours. so I went with Mark to Wisconsin Dells for the morning and got home shortly before 1 p.m. so Mark could work at 2 p.m. in Edgerton.
I know I am not the only one feeling uncomfortable going to war, but the thought of going to war is definitely personal. My brother served in the army some time back and will he be drafted into going? I hope not! He has three children and a beautiful wife to look after. I hope that he does not called in to go to war even though he is no longer in the service. He is in his late thirties. Even though he says he will not be sent off, I really wish that no one would be sent off to fight. I know that our America was attacked on September 11, 2001 and we need to fight for what we believe in…freedom, but war is not the way to go!
I am sorry about not writing since the 14th. It was either I got busy with things at home or out or I did not feel like writing anything. In fact, I wanted to vent so badly yesterday but I had gotten busy with other things that I did not even log in to Dear Diary all day long for some reason when I was online several times a day off and on. I just NEVER got on to write yesterday, I was not in the mood enough to write. Oh well…
