What a day! I am feeling real lazy today. Emilee, my lazy kitty today, has been acting lazy all morning long so far. The only time she has meowed was to say good morning and tell me it is time to be fed, time to eat breakfast. I had gotten up a little bit before 8 a.m. this morning and decided to take my medication and then lay back down for another hour while I waited for my two hour Murder, She Wrote programming to come on. I have watched the first hour and realized that it has been a long time since I saw the episode and then the second show has my favorite actor Mike Connors from his program back when I was younger. In the program that Mike Connors starred in years ago was where his character was a detective…now wait, the title of the show will come along soon in my head. I watched it all the time when it aired on the TV Land channel not too long ago. I do know that he always got shot at either in the shoulder. It is so frustrating…WHAT IS THE TITLE OF THAT PROGRAM that Mike Connors starred in years ago? HOW FRUSTRATING!! LOL.

I am glad that I am not going anywhere today. I am not planning on setting foot outside this apartment even unless I really have to. Emilee and I are going to lay low all day long and I am going to stay in my pajamas all day long as well. What a life, huh? I have to have something to look forward to daily in this case. I can not sit in my apartment typing away at my computer, surfing the internet, playing online games, watching television, reading a good book, snuggling and cuddling with my Emilee Cuddles kitty, and sleeping all day. Life like that may be luxury in someone’s eyes, but I do have to admit that it is not luxury – not luxury at all. Murder, She Wrote is still on its second program of the morning, and the character Mike Connors has died in his apartment and now JB Fletcher and sherriff of the little town that MC and JB had stopped are trying to find the killer. I have seen this program several times I NEVER remember who the killer really is. Elisabeth Ashley is even in the program playing a truck stop waitress who was married to the owner but is now dead. What a life I live! I watch so much television that I have this knowledge of who is who and what they do for a living.

Now I really wonder what my afternoon is going to be like…More later if the weather is feasible (sp?).

For three months now I have noticed a change in my right hand on how it works, especially when I type and grip for anything that needs to gripped. Not too long ago, day has already been forgotten, I went to a doctor regarding the change and learned the CP does not get worse but things do change was we get older. It has been two weeks now, though, that I do know. I have wearing ring splints for my fingers that want to swan neck or boutinere and I have noticed a difference almost immediately…two days really. I had gone to get fitted for ring splints today and talked to the therapist that has been taking care of me since our last appointment. Darcie is such a sweet person! She has helped answer some questions since my appointments and that is good service if you ask me. I had talked to her about noticing the changes since I have been wearing the ring splints and she told me that there has been some improvement from wearing the splints that I am now wearing. I also did ask Darcie at this appointment if there was a splint that could have the rest if my “naughty” finger on my right hand and right now I am experimenting with a little ring splint on the first digit of my “naughty” finger. Thankfully there has been improvement and some noticable difference for the good side of this dratted cerebral palsy.

My appointment was at 1:30 p.m. and it lasted about an hour as Darcie had planned and it went very well. I am now glad to be home, though, because it is a little bit warm out there but luckily not hot and a heat wave going on today. But according to the weatherman tonight, another heat wave is to hitus tomorrow and possible rain storm hitting us. Those weathermen!! LOL I HATE RAINSTORMS WHEN LIGHTNING AND THUNDER PLAY A MAJOR ROLE!

Right now I am listening to the local news. A lot of people have been dealing with the heat in a not so good way. With the temp close to 100 degrees, I don’t think anything or anyone could survive the heat. I wouldn’t and more or less couldn;t myself!

I have been thinking all day long about making the month of August a little different as far as writing my entries but I am still debating on what to do. I do plan, however, to write on a regular basis – a daily basis if possible. I don’t want to change the look as the person who help create my Dear Diary pages in such a special and unique way, did a fine job but someday I plan to change the look of my page physically as well but what can I do is a big question mark yet. I love the way this page is created and I do not want to see it go really but I do know we need a change now and then. Everything about change is questionable right now. What else can I really say right now about change? I am changing everyday. I do not like change too much but if change has to come then I have no choice as far as change goes.

My day has been going very well. Glad to be home from my appointment where it is cooler and Emilee now has her “Mom” home for the rest of the week. No more appointments this week except for Friday at 11 a.m. with my counselor. With this heat, I don’t dare go out unless I really have to and the appointment I did have for tomorrow was cancelled because it is not a necessity really. It can wait until August as far as I am concerned. I am glad to be indoors from the world outdoors. Now I can go and do what I want to do. I did do my dishes and clean that pile of papers off my my living room floor and Emilee is napping in her pet carrier. I call it her “house”. Anytime the door is open she sleeps in it almost all the time, and when the door is closed, with her in it, she is being disiplined for doing something naughty and if there is a bad storm, her house is called a “safe” because she feels secure and safe closed in. We always use her house as a safe when we have the fire or tornado alarm goes off. She is pretty much a good cat now-a-days anyway because of her age and experience.

Well, time for me to go for the night. It is not late but the weather looks a litte bit iffy for tonight. I have nothing else to do tonight except watch television, read, write, and sleep. I have no reason now to get up so early in the morning in order to go anywhere. I hope everyone has a good night. Good night and good bye for now.

Fiddlesticks!, I had less than a page written of an entry so far, and some how I deleted it all because of my fingers on my right hand hitting the RIGHT keys! I hate that when that sort of thing happens, believe me. Now I have to rewrite everything and my mind does not remember anything I have written so far…VERY FRUSTRATING!!!

I thought, to begin my day, something totally different from what I wrote in the entry that got deleted I would take a few minutes to write before my afternoon gets busy. I still have to take a shower and get ready to leave for an appointment at 1:30 p.m. and my ride is picking me up at 1 p.m.. I did NOT write this at all in the first but now deleted entry! But before I go on with my day, I had to watch my two hours of Murder, She Wrote program and wait until 11 a.m. to take a quick shower and get dressed. Right now I am in my pajamas still and wanting to not go anywhere really but I am going to be fitted for silver ring splints today for the three fingers of my right hand that seem to cause so trouble now and then. But then, after I get home this afternoon, I can spend more time on my computer here on line – hopefully…really depends on the weather really. Right now the weather looks a little bit iffy and we never know when a storm will hit us next. Right now, taking a few minutes of my time on line to write an entry, I thought that since my mind is waking up and very fresh, I would start out my day with an entry…probably a long one at it too, since I have over a half an hour before my allotted time to hop in the shower. No man here shall not have any googley eyes and thinking about a woman taking a shower…NOT ALLOWED WITH THIS YOUNG LADY! LOL

Last night I did not get to bed as early as I wanted to. I do know, or at least remember anyway, watching Matlock at 11 p.m. but never saw the ending of it. That happens a lot. I missed the ending or the whole just of the show because I was so tired. I do remember waking up having to run to the bathroom and I almost did not make it because I had to go to the bathroom so badly. Also, I remember my Emilee Cuddles being frightened about something. While I was listening to music, I had glanced outdoors into the night and saw a light light up the whole sky but I did not hear any thunder. Emilee was slanking around as if she was frightened – like a storm brewing or something but she had calmed down before I had fallen asleep. Right now she is catnappin’ on the back of the recliner by the AC and she seems content and comfortable. I personally think that there was heat lightning last night and she was frightened of it. I did not hear any thunder or anything like rain and I do know that there was no such aircraft that lights up the whole sky like what I saw last night. Oh well, I was pretty tired at that time.

I am planning on coming back later this afternoon, if the weather allows it, and write some more in my journal here. I do not have anything else to do or go today after my appointment. I do, however, have to do the dishes and clean a spot off my livingroom floor. I have a pile of papers in one spot that need to be taken care of or thrown out. I will do that if the weather is foul and stormy. It does look like it is going to be an okay kind of day but you never know for sure about weather until it is practically on top of you sometimes, rigiht? I have this thing with weathermen telling of weather happenings when they are not even close sometimes. I do not take to stock what is said to me anymore and live from day to day with what I can see and do from now on. I have nothing against the people who are weathermen as a person but as a weatherman, I take it not so seriously anymore. It is like living here at Teamster Manor Apartments with forty-nine tenant apartments and one manager apartment, where there are people who love to tell stories and say things that are not true and if they are true, they are exagerated or something. When I first moved in here, some tenants thought that I was a cripple and another cripple and retard was moving in here, plus also another young one was moving in here. I am glad that I was not told this until a few months ago because if I heard it when it first happened, I would have bawled my head off and became a hermit in my apartment…not leaving my place unless I really had to. Oh my goodness, I have gotten off beat here, but who cares, right?, LOL

It has been fairly quiet around here so far this morning. No surrounding noises are even heard right now and the tenants on this floor do go out quite often at this end of the third floor. Anyway, I will be leaving about 1 p.m. to get to my appointment and then those tenants who live for other people’s business will be wondering who has left the building and why and if they can pinpoint the apartment door that has been closed and locked, they know who the person is. How comical is that? I think it is really dumb and stupid. At my friend G’s birthday gathering last night, the manager, friend, neighbor, and adoptive Mom, and those at the party were talking about other people and their so-called whims in this place. I too, not to be nosy or questioning someone’s whereabouts, I have a trained ear of who comes and goes past my apartment door just by how they walk, talk, etc… There are times, though, I do listen to the conversations in the hallway, but I don’t take in stock what is said. I do, however, have a next door neighbor who is lazy and always gone babysitting, and she reminds me of a woman who does not knoow the real meaning of hard work or work altogether. She is, in the least, one person who has caused one of my friends, who just moved from here, a life considering a living hell. I do not usually use swear words in my entries, but expressing the truth with that word is not really swearing, is it? Now I wish this neighbor would just leave thiis place. My world would be better myself. I can not sleep in my own bedroom because the walls are so thin that I can hear her snoring every night as if she was in the same apartment as mine and every now and then I can hear her getting up and about to the bathroom. That is how thin the walls are here. I do not plan on moving out either because otherwise I am very happy here. This place is mine now and I never had a place of my very own before. What I mean by that is with all the apartments I have lived in, this apartment is the only place I have been able to consider my own. I feel so comfortable in my place most of the time.

I do need to go now and get ready for my shower and day. Murder, She Wrote is almost over now and I have to get ready for my day yet. I will not be able to get back on my computer until after I get back from my appointment at 1:30 p.m. I do hvae nine minutes left at least anyway. Time doeos fly when you are having fun anyway. Good bye for now. I will write more later today if the weather permits it.

It is only 11:30 here so I still have a half an hour before the next day rolls around. I am not surprised that I am still up and about at this hour on my computer as I have been on my computer all afternoon. Let’s say 6 1/2 hours before 10 p.m.. I had gotten back on line after 10 p.m. and I have already been on it over an hour so it has been 7 hours this day. BOY, the Internet can be addictive…even after having Internet access for about six years, huh? I have been spending many of the hotter days on my computer in my apartment where the heat is not beating down me. The air conditioner is on and keeping my place cool. Emilee (my cat) has been laying on the back of my recliner which is right in front of the AC right now.

My day has been very good. This morning my adoptive Mom Nellie and G went away this morning and afternoon out of town to visit his father for G’s birthday. While they were away, Nellie had asked me to decorate his apartment door for his birthday so I did just that and I had to fix it again later on in the afternoon because either it fell down or someone tore it off the door, the decorations were put back on the door. G and Nellie had arrived back home a little after 8 p.m. where three of us were waiting patiently by Nellie’s apartment door to help end G’s birthday day with more gifts and talk. According to G, he did have a great birthday, and believe me when I say, I am glad he did. Now I am up in my place, should be in bed now, lol, working in the computer once again. It has been on all day long and I have been on it over 7 hrs so far. Now Emilee wants to have time with me…that silly kitty. She just loves to obstruct my view from the monitor or television when I am on the computer or watching television. She walks right in front of me! LOL Emilee will have time with me in a short while but not right this minute when I am busy writing an entry or thought.

I can not say that my day has been boring because it hasn’t. I have been on line for a long time today and really the time spent online today has been the longest in such a long time. Today, except to one person, I have not chatted with anyone I knew online for a while. It was too hot to go anywhere anyway so home I stayed. Emilee and I stayed where it is the most coolest and kept cool all day long. I am soon ready to go bed…I think anyway.

I do have to admit that I have not visited too many Dear Diary pages this weekend or this week and I do feel a little guilty. Please accept my apologies. The diarists know who they are. I am just getting back on track here and life does not seem as hectic as it did from June 25th on to today. I have also been having troubles with my typing fingers on my right hand, which is only the index finger really, for the past three months that I have taken a new route on getting back on track with my typing. I can not sit and type as long as I did until the end of May. I believe May is the time I have begun to notice so changes in my condition (cerebral palsy) so typing has been very low lately. I can’t sit and type for over two hours at a time right now. I have been able to play games for hours though, thankfully.

I do have to go now. I wish everyone a good night and I will be back tomorrow if the weather permits it.

I was gone all day Saturday. I went fishing with my friend Mark from 1 p.m. to 6:30 p.m. and definitely got a little sun as well as a little wind burn. I did not get sunburned – just enough to get a little more brown before the summer is over and gone for another year. I was gone all day from 9 a.m. to 6:30 p.m. and believe me, it was a good day all day long.

I have cable television and believe me I am not too happy with the cable company either. Just like the weather man being incorrect about the weather, the cable company had to switch the music channels around. How I found out about the change was when I turned to a music station on my television. Every Friday night I like to turn the television off from watching programs and listen to classical or light classical music to calm me down from a week of whatever. Classical music does help heal my mind from just about anything. Why am I complaining?? Today is one of those days for complaining I guess, LOL :p

Not much is going on right now. I am talking to a friend on the phone right now. The last time I heard from her was a few months ago and she did try calling me last night but I did not return the call before late because I was busy being lazy and just did not want to call anyone. Right now I am listening to her talk telling me about her life these past few weeks. Wow…she is seeing someone again! Good for her! When I had gotten her call last night, out of the blue, I was yet a little shocked because remembering the last time I spoke to her she called several times a day which was very annoying. Tonight this call seems pleasant tonight.

Okay, I am getting tired of the weather being different from what the weather man says every evening and morning. We were expecting a storm last night in the late night hours and we never got it! The heat is bad again today so I am staying indoors all day long. No plans of going out in it at all until tomorrow morning for church. The weather outdoors looks a little bit cloudy but not because of a storm about to brew but because of the overcast of the sky and heat. I am getting fed up with the weather man saying one thing and then something else happens. Am I the only person who is not too happy with the weather man? Probably not.

I thought I would write a quick entry before the night is out. Nothing much is going on right now. My day was great! I did not get together with my friend Mark because a project at his workplace had taken his time and he had to take a rain check on getting together for dinner but I did get together with my adopted Grandma who I call Nana for lunch out. We had a great time in the time we did have. We had arrived at the restaurant about 2:30 p.m. and before 3:40 p.m. we had realized that time was going by quickly. As I was paying for the dinner, my adopted Mom and friend G had come in to have dinner. During the time that Nana was eating her desert and drinking her ice water, “Mom”, G, and I were having a little bit of fun talking to each other silently as we mouthed what were saying from across the room. G and “Mom” were on one side of the room while Nana and I were on the other side. Before Nana and I left, G and “Mom” were getting really silly, making me silly on top of it, and before I knew it we were having butter pads and jelly pads thrown at each other. Thank goodness that there were people in the restaurant who understood that the four of us were “family” and enjoyed the little show. Honestly, I was having loads of fun and Nana was enjoying it as she sat and watched wondering what was going on. There were only the four of us, the waitresses and another couple in the restaurant at the time, thankfully. By the way, the throwing of pads of butter and jelly was “Mom’s idea and G was doing the throwing. I had only thrown one pad of jelly at G’s feet before we left. You probably don’t even believe me, right? What I did say here is true and believe me when I say I was having fun and definitely got caught up in the fun. THANKS “MOM”! I did have a good time – the short time we had together in the restaurant even though we were not sitting at the same table.

I personally think that I am now finally finished with the summer and what had come along with it – HEAT! I did have a great time in PA and I did see relatives from one end to the other and now the next thing is school coming in a few weeks…the end of August. I have been depressed long enough that today I realized how much fun I was having with my three friends. I had forgotten what fun was like there for a while I think. I am so glad that my depression episode is over and on the way out now that I have school to look forward to.

Today is my grandpa’s 90th b-day and knowing that he is in a nursing home with A;zhiemer’s sp? Disease in the infantile stages of life now. Remembering my grandpa then is better than now believe me. I know what he did all day long…ate, went potty in his pants (diapers), slept, and just lived another dull day in his mind. What a life my grandpa has to now live! Not a happy one I suppose not knowing what he is thinking or what is going on his mind altogether… I hope Mom and my stepfather went to see him today!

Well, I better go for now.

I have a grandpa who is in a nursing home in NM right now because of Alzhiemer’s Sp? Disease. Today Grandpa is 90 years old. Even though my grandpa does not remember from day to day anymore, I would like to wish him a Happy Birthday in my mind – knowing that it is his birthday and yet he is alive and living from day to day even though that dreadful disease has taken his mind.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Grandpa Clarence!