I am glad the day is over. I am tired. My mouth had another workout today. A lot of gagging happened on my part – that being a part of the reflex I have because I have cerebral palsy. The stitches in my mouth are not noticeable but it is kind of hard to yawn. The ache is there then but oh well…I will survive. Another day tomorrow.
I went to the dentist as planned and everything went fine until my cheek was bumped. I have stitches or one stitch in my cheek (the inside) I will have the stitches removed on Monday, the 24th of June. It kind of aches only when I yawn but it is a bearable ache so unlike my previous teeth work a week ago.
Okay, now you are probably wondering why in the world I got stitches put in my cheek, right? Well, my tooth in the back of the mouth was difficult to get to because I could not get my mouth open any further than it was and my cheek was bumped and it bled and some gauze was used to stop the bleeding and then the stiches were put in.
For the last couple of days I have been personal in my readable journal entries and I do have to admit that it has been GREAT! I have been open and honest in previous journal entries at Dear Diary but I never felt so GOOD as I feel right now. I have a dentist appointment later this afternoon. In fact my ride will be picking me up about 2:15 p.m. and that is an hour and thirty minutes away. I have MORE teeth work to have done but believe me it is not going to be as bad but I surely hate being poked with the needle where novacaine comes out and I hate the sound of the drill on my teeth. The smell is a burning smell that makes a taste in my mouth that is not at all tasty. I am almost done with appointment as far sa my teeth are concerned but I think I still have one more appointment with the dentist after today’s appointment as well. I think the work that needs to be done is not going to be as bad as the first three teeth that were worked on last week Monday. Was it Monday? I FORGOT! Oh well…
The weather looks kind of iffy outdoors right now but here I am bored to death once more and time is slow and not passing by quickly enough. The time is definitely a little faster than the time I experienced on Saturday where time just seemed to hold still but then again my hormones have calmed down slightly and I don’t feel like I am on edge right now. In fact I am not nervous about my dental appointment. My dentist, the son of my first dentist, took real good care of me and no fuss was even expressed at my end as my mouth was propped open so wide it hurt, and the deepness of the cavities did make me teeth hurt for acouple of days. The sun is not shining and it is gray and dreary outdoors that is kind of depressing and making my apartment seem dark even though I have the blinds open to allow some natural light in outside my lamps that are turned on in the livingroom. What else can I say? I am running out of words as boredom is setting in and writing has become a slight chore. I wish I could take a nap, like my kitty (cat) Emilee is doing right now on the back on the recliner in the livingroom here. My computer is in the livingroom right in front of the window. The television is one behind me with a movie that is playing that I think is not worth watching at all. The program Hunter ended eleven minutes ago now and nothing is on television until I leave for my appointment anyway. It is time for me to turn the television off since I am not even paying attention to it. The movie on television right now is DUMBER THAN DUMB I think…opinion only of course – not a straight fact.
I do have to thank my Dear Diary friends here for posting a comment now and then or two after reading my entries. It makes me feel, again, that I am not alone and I am not the only person who feels strange at times during moments of being a woman. It is definitely not easy being a woman sometimes even though I never plan on having a sex change or anything so drastic as that. I do “hate” having my periods now and then and this month has been one of those times. I think now I have gotten over the hump of this part of a woman’s life and I feel practically normal with the feelings I have been having. The other day, which was Saturday, I could not concentrate on anything around me, I could not sit still for five minutes until I got out of my apartment for a couple of hours, and the four walls that keep me in quiet solitude and secure seemed to feel like they were closing in on me and my mind was raging over the silliest things in life. In fact, some of the things my mind was raging over were thoughts that were definitely untrue and my mind was playing some kind of trick on me. Anyway, I got out of my apartment with my friend “M” and went to see Scooby Doo in the theater and I laughed through the funny parts and in many ways I wanted to cry over the parts that seemed somewhat sentimental such as the Mystery’s Inc. clan have broken up for a couple of years and were all of a sudden asked to solve a mystery at a place called Spooky Island, and the fact that the group got back together at the very end as Scooby Doo and Mystery’s Inc. team. Tears have flowed that day outside the movie that I thought I was crazy for crying so. In fact, as sentimental as I am, I feel like crying right now because bringing up something that happened two days ago really touch my heart in a BIG way.
Here I am, with the television off, my compuuter running on the internet, the lights in my living room on, sitting in quiet place I call my home. The only sounds I hear is the hum of my computer and Emilee taking a bit of time for a bite. I wonder what cats and dogs taste while they eat their food since they don’t eat people food everyday like us people do? I can not imagine the taste of cat or dog food, either. That has to be gross but I have heard of people eating cat or dog food to taste it – even the little children who are yet explorers of their surroundings about them. Here I am rambling on and on and probably boring my readers about what is written here but who cares! This is my place to write whatever I want and that is always good. The air conditioner just came on and now that overpowering the sound of my computer him nd Emilee is now in the window sill looking out the window at the ground and surroundings below her. I am on the third floor of the apartment building I live in and the ground is far off and no one would be able to land on their feet unless they are good jumpers and climbers of the world. Emilee just jumped off the window sill and back on her perch on the back of the recliner where the AC is keeping her cool from the sticky weather we do have right now.
Well, I beter run for now. I will, weather permiting, come back later after I return home from the dentist and get resettled. This is a long entry I know! Bye for now.
continued from yesterday’s journal
I do have to admit that last night I had spilled some real good stuff from my heart and mind just to get off my mind and I have to admit that it was kind of gross but what else could I have said yesterday. I was really not myself because of the hormonal changes I have been feeling for a couple of days now and I usually don’t get too personal at times like this. Instead of getting too personal I kind of hold my feelings inside until I bust into tears and ALL my emotions escape all at one time. I have decided not to hold too much in any longer whether or not it is very personal stuff coming out into the public world. I have read some REAL PERSONAL stuff here at Dear Diary since I have been here and those diaries are a good read now and then and most of the time.
As I sit here today I do have to admit that my hormonal changes are not as bad as they were yesterday, Remembering the irritation I was feeling and time just seemed to go so terribly slow and all things around me did not seem right. Today is not so bad but yet time is still slowly passing by. Yesterday the walls of my apartment seemed to close in on me making me feel very bouncing and wanting to get out of here so fast but today those walls are not closing in as much. It is bearable today for a change but those hormones are still kind of raging but yet can be tontrolled, THANKFULLY! I do have to admit that I still “hate” having periods but yet grateful that I get them.
For us women of today;s world, I can relate to the changes from one month to another and one month I can get my period at the beginning of the month and then the next month, that dratted period comes at the end of the month. It really depends on when the period falls on whatever day and also what month it is. What is so horrible about having this month’s period is the fact I will be having it while I am visiting my brother and sister-in-law and they have a swimming pool. I won’t swim when I have my period. Oh well, that’s life and we don’t always enjoy things.
Please excuse me for being so personal and kind of gross here but I just had to end my last entry with another thought.
Honestly, for you men out there, please forgive me for getting personal in this entry, but tonight is one of those nights, okay?
Sometimes being a woman does kind of stink. Lucky you men don’t have to worry about periods or anything and everything that comes along with them. I know you men have your issues to deal with too, but sometimes us women have our moments of tears, frustration, and anger when it comes to hormonal changes. Well, it has been ONE OF THOSE DAYS for me where my hormones went off helter skelter because of an upcoming moment in a woman’s life – her PERIOD! Everything I was seeing and hearing today just seemed to go haywire and nothing really made sense except for the movie I went to see with a good friend of mine earlier today. Time just seemed slow and not coming as quickly as it usually does when hormones are not RAGING one bit. Time seemed to have stopped briefly and the time seemed to stopped endlessly. Everything around me seemed to be either closed in or nothing was going right for me. My emotional upset and frustration seemed to take a whole new meaning of hormonal changes today! It did NOT seem right most of the day. In fact, this Saturday and the past couple of Saturdays did not seem like the best Saturdays I have really enjoyed. In fact, oddly enough, this Saturday has not really been enjoyed at all except for golng to the movies and getting away from this place/apartment of mine. In fact, I noticed something hormonal this morning and called the Ask A Nurse Helpline just to ask a question because something hormonal/new was noticed and I wanted a possible answer if there was one. Those dratted estrogen levels can get you going off in the wrong direction sometimes!! Man, what a day!!! Oh well, it is now over and I can go off to bed knowing that I got something off my mind before retiring for the night.
This is the first time, I think anyway, that I have shared something fairly personal about my life as a woman, but oh well. I have read some real good tear jerkers and funny entries here and I thought I would give it a shot as far as very personal stuff. Some days I hate being a woman but I can tell you all that I don’t hate myself being a woman to want to have a sex change or something. God has made me a woman and this woman is here to stay. I hope my DD friends here had a good read tonight!
You have a good weekend yourself! Take care, girl! Love ya!
My day has been very good. I had company for a while. My friend K had come over for a while and my cleaning lady R had come by to help clean my place. i had did the dishes and cleaned the literbox before she come by as well as taking care of the garbage to take out when cleaning is done and I had put clothes where they are not in the way of cleaning. Then I had ordered pizza for supper only eating three bread sticks and two pieces of pizza. Boy or boy my stomach does not take a lot in anymore, lol. What a day! It was spent somewhat lazed and yet busy and wonderful at the same time.
Rain has just poured down for a couple of minutes and then it quit raining all of a sudden as if someone turned on the faucets to get a drink of water and shut the faucet off. It is amazing at times how the weather works from one minute to the next.
Right now I don’t have much to say but hello to all my DD frends. I plan to be back later today or tomorrow for sure. I have a busy schedule ahead of me today and this weekend. For now I have to run.
My day is done, YES! I had run some errands with a friend’s help and now my day is done and I can relax. Time is close to 5:30 p.m. and I am getting tired. Tomorrow brings another full day and the full day coming up is not th end of the busy time that this weekend is going to bring. This is my last entry for the day. I have to run now. Good night and God Bless.
