Kristi Karnopp's Diary & Blog

I am not at school today. I have an appointment this morning to get my hair done. It needs a trim and a color job. Don’t worry, LOL, it is a natural blonde that I am having done to it. I have someone coming about 1 p.m. this afternoon to drop off some food I had ordered from Schwan’s some time back. They have a website you can order from at http://www.schwans.com>Schwan’s. I hope you can see the link. LOL Sometimes I have difficulties with adding links to pages or entries.

I ave an appointment this morning to get my hair done. YEAH! It needs to be redone with the color I had done weeks ago. In fact my hair should have been touched up a couple of weeks ago or so as color does not last very long. Anyway, it NEEDS to be done.

I have to say that this is a quick entry for sure. I will be back later. I really do not have any plans of going anywhere special after my appointment at the hairdresser’s anyway. I will write more later if I have the chance. I do have an idea for an entry anyway. Good bye for now.

<My day has not ended abruptly but it surely has been a fairly good day. I did not leave my apt at all except to go to Nellie Mom's place to get a plate of spaghetti I had forgotten yesterday while visiting with her at lunch and in the early part of the afternoon. I have the plaate 0f spaghetti in my refridgerator ready to be eaten at my next meal tomorrow since I am now full after eating supper. I was not hungry for spaghetti tonight but I will be tomorrow. The spaghetti is very good. It is left over from last weekend's wedding I went to with Nellie Mom and G.

I have been working on my stepfather’s dog page today for a while and I finally have pictures there. I have a brother pup and a sister pup now and I was updating my sister pup’s page to add more pics, and it turned out that I combined the two into one page instead of two pages. You can see the page at http://www.geocities.com/SouthBeach/Pier/7441/flyerpup.html>Fkyer and Shadow I hope you can see the page! I worked hard at it…LOL I am so glad that I have somethinig accomplished that is outside of school and my life as a student. Honestly, this semester has been wonderful so far and I have been really enjoying school very much, but being able to do soomething outside of school surely has been a joy this weekend.

Now my day on my computer has ended and I am glad to be done with my day. I am getting tired now and I am almost ready for bed. I will be retiring early tonight since I will be getting up early to get ready for school. It has been a faorly good day all day long even though I have spent the entire day in my apartment except to get a plate of spaghetti. I am ready for my night to come now. Good nigiht and God bless you all!

The last time I had written in my journal was on Thursday. I have been busy but I have not forgotten. I just did not have anything to write about and if I did write anything it would not add up to much as far as words. I have been fine physically and mentally and emotionally even though I have my lovely period this weekend, TUCK! LOL. I am surviving just fine. I wanted to write in my journal Friday and Saturday but time just escaped me and I did not feel awake enough to write anything by the time I really wanted to. On Friday when I got home from school I visited with the manager of Teamster Manor (adoptive Mom) about a birthday celebration she wanted me to be a part of. Friday night was a fairly busy night for me, Nana, Nellie Mom, Cheryl and Jamie, and “G”. We had celebrated a birthday for an 84 year old man who is a tenant here in the building at this time even though he is in a nursing home recovering from a previous illness, The six of us, including “J” had a great time. As a matter of fact, “J” cried because he saw how we all cared to give him the very best and a memory to last the rest of his life. After the birthday celebration Nana and I came back and got ready for the night because I had plans to be to church in the morning with Nellie Mom and G for Bible study and worship services. Usually my Saturdays are fairly busy and I do not have a lot to write about that day of the week. Today is the first day back since Thursday sometime.

After church, Nellie Mom, G, and I came back to the apartment complex for the rest of the day. I did not plan on having lunch with anyone until Nellie Mom had invited me to have chili with her and “G” which I did. I did have lunch witih Nellie Mom and “G”. I did not leave Mom’s place until after 3 p.m., which made my Saturday morning and afternoon with her and G rememberable and enjoyable. After I got home from not being all morning since I left, I had a cat sleeping in her little house and being a good girl, and so I had time for myself but that did not last long, LOL

Today is just a Sunday morning before noon and I am home finding time for myself. I have my homework done up to the point where my teacher had discussed. I felt, all day long, that the homework I was doing was confusing but found out differently, LOL I had been doing a great job there! SMILE

More later…

It is 9:25 p.m. and it is almost time for me to go to bed. Not a lot to be said right now really. I have school tomorrow but thankfully my day at school ends shortly before noon. I had gone out to eat with Nana Lea this evening to celebrate her “new” sight because she has had cataracts on both eyes for three years. Now she is cataract free in her right eye just like I am but Nana can have the other eye done in about three weeks. I will be seeing my eye doctor on October 29th for an update on my right eye and a discussion on the left eye being done. I am ready for the other eye to be done I think. I know I am. I have to go for now. Good night.

I really do not have any title for this entry so it is Entry 1 at this time. I really was busy yesterday that I did not have a whole lot of time to write in my journals yesterday but did find a few minutes to write in my school journal in the morning before my 9 o’clock class began about ten minutes before. I have been feeling okay yet a little lost after losing Christine to cancer last week. I can not believe that my week has been going slow and fast all at the same time. As a matter of fact, I felt that algebra came and went so quickly that we were having fun in class playing with graphing calculators, LOL. As for the rest of my day, I just did not feel all that comfortable being on my computer too long. I was getting tired. I was able to be home by 2 p.m. yesterday instead of 3 p.m. because of the way time went yesterday. I had lunch with my friend M a little bit earlier than expected because she had finished her Medical Terminology test a bit earlier than she expected. That was good in a way because I wanted to go home early if I could and I was able to. By the time I got home from school, I felt tired and was ready for bed early even though sleep was difficult to find last night. LOL Sleep has been difficult to find lately anyway so what is new.

I would like to give my thanks for all my friends here at Dear Diary for praying for my friend Christine’s family after her death. All prayers are still welcome at this time with thanks from Ken Gagne Christine’s husband. I am finding myself dealing with Christine’s passing a little rough but I am holding my own here and continuing on with my life by going to school and doing my best and my hardest despite whatever comes knocking at my door that is not good. Today, marking a week since Christine passed away, has been kind of rough for me, but not because of christine passing entirely the reason, but because of other emotional reasons. Again, I would like to thank those who have been praying for Christine’s family after her death. Prayers are still welcome. God bless you all!

Okay dokey, here it goes! My emotions are going up and down and I know it has a mixture of things. My period is coming and my body is chaanging, and a week ago today my friend Christine died from cancer. Sleep has been hard to find at a decent hour of the evening so I can get up at 6:30 a.m. and get ready to for school. I have been able to function at school, but my mind has been sidetracked on the death of my friend Christine. I am actually surprised that I am even able to get up at 6:30 a.m. and be ready for school by 7 a.m. and get to the bus by 7:30 a.m. and be at school by 7:45 – 8 a.m. in the morninig and functioning at a rate of success. I have been successful despite the amount of sleep I have had this far. I talked to my doctor’s nurse today and my doctor has given me a litle help to get a good nigiht’s rest tonight.. Even after 11 p.m. on school nights, I am yet wide awake and I have goten my second wind that sometimes I find myself unable to get to sleep until after 1 a.m. and I need to be up by 6:30 a.m.. I had taken the day off of school today and I even heard my alarm go off at 6:0 a.m. but I was too LAZY to push the button to shut it off. It is not the ordinary electric alarm clock that would go off until you shut it off but one of those clocks that is made for visually handicapped that shuts itself off after ten warnings. I had awakened to the sun shining at 7:45 a.m. which was a nice sleep in but I am not used to it right now with school in session.

I have been in and out of mood shifts here. I HATE it with a passion!!! It is like this a shift here and a shift there, and everywhere a shift shift. NOT “SMILING” Not laughing out loud right now. Tears are forming in my eyes off and on. I HATE mood swings. I HATE PMS too! But in the end, I know I will be okay. I always am.

It was yesterday morning before I left for the wedding with Nellie Mom I had spoken to one of Christine’s friends named Helen. As I talked to her I had asked her questions that seemed to ease my mind at all what was going on. As we talked I had learned that Christine’s birthday was the Sunday before she died which was September 29th. She said she was going to reach her birthday and surely did. Christine was a fighter to the very end to where she knew it was okay to finally let go. She had slipped into a coma hours before she died so her struggles to live were non-existent at the very end. She had been very ill the last year of her life but to the end she did not give up until it was okay to do.

Answers have been answered finally. I am now on my way to healing and getting over the loss. As I go from day to day I am in a constant reminder of Christine and what she would do if she was still alive in my heart. I wake up every morning knowing that Christine would want me to go on with me life as I havea always carried it. I know she is a constant reminder of what once was and what life is going to be without her around anymore except for my heart. Twenty-five years have been made with Christine and those memories will be recorded as time heals and time moves on for me. It is only a short time that Christine has left her earthly home and it is going to take time to heal the loss. I am working on that right this minute even though I still tear and cry because I miss her terribly.

I do not know WHY I even watched a movie as such as “To Face Her Past”! Still being lost without Christine here now, the movie I watched was about a young woman who found out she had cancer. I teared through most of it but not really cried or bawled. James Brolin, the guy who played Charles in M.A.S.H., Gebrielle ?? (the girl who played in 90210, Tracey Gold, and Patty Duke played real good roles. Yet I teared as I watched the movie even though I saw it when it first aired on television some time back long before I found ou that Christine was ill with cancer. It was one sad movie even though it turned out fine at the end. Boy does cancer really play a role in my life lately. When will I stop mourning for losing such a great friend as Christine? It is SO HARD to concentrate on a lot of things.

It has been a long time since I have gone to a wedding. Today I went to one and I had a good time. I went with Nellie Mom and G. I felt alone at first because I sat alone in one of the pews in the church’s sanctuary/ No one sat by me but I did have someonoe in front of me and behind me and in the pew across from me. I felt alone to some degree on the right hand side of me, though. G sat in the back of the church in a pew alone as well, if I remember correctly. The wedding ceremony was beautiful and amazing. It has been a long time since I had been to a wedding that I forgot what a wedding ceremony was like. The only thing about the wedding I went to, which I had no qualms about, there was no dancing but eating and socialization and lots of music and chatter. I did not sit alone at the reception even though I wanted to I felt bad enough that G did not sit with me. I did not feel rejected or anything but I felt alone and quite uneasy during the wedding ceremopny that I had tears in my eyes when the bride walked down the aisle. I knew the groom from meeting him at a church camp meeting in the summer of 2001. The bride, a phillipino woman, was so beautiful and lovely in her dress, the tears formed in my eyes but did not roll down my cheeks. I felt embarrassed because I thought that we are to cry at funerals and smile at weddings. I was mixed up! LOL